People think that I am tough but the truth is that is only on the outside. I admit that I’m quite weak inside.Sometimes I feel disconnected and no one truly understands what I feel. I also find myself not interested in what people say or do sometimes because there are always errands for me to run and things I have to get done. I look at other people and they don't seem to have the same problem..at least they are so much better than me. It's like I am such a loser to a point that I don't care about what I feel anymore and even sometimes the steps that I take, walking seems to require a lot of effort.

Result is said coming out on 22nd of December which is in 31 days from now. But you know what, I'm really, really trying to escape from all these stressness of knowing how my results are going to be. If I don't get 8A's, I'd definitely cry a river. I know, it's not good to ''cry over spilt milk.'' There are just so many reasons why I want to get straight A's. Besides wanting to get into good class next year, I studied so hard and put all my effort on studying. I want to show my parents, my family that I can do even better than my sister and anyone else. Now, what if I don't get straight A's ?

Before the PMR period, I always felt like I was dumb. Not just dumb, but beyond dumb. During the PMR period, I thought I could do it. Now, after so long of not studying anymore and all, I feel stupid and starting to question myself whether I can get those A's or not. But yeah it's true that this is not the end of the journey. It's only PMR, I still have my SPM etc.
 
Since PMR over, there's nothing to do. Really. But it's time to explore everything. You don't have much time till you actually suffer again. Like what my senior said, 'being 16 is difficult, I don't ever wanna be 16 ever again' She's actually making myself even more afraid -.-